My Mold Era (and How It Almost Took Me Out)

There was a time not too long ago when I thought I literally had an autoimmune disease. Each day, I felt like I was slowly dying. Dramatic, I know… but if you knew me, you’d know how every day felt like a stretch just to get out of bed. I basically wasn’t even living.

For some backstory, every two weeks for seven months straight, I’d start by randomly getting a headache, which always led to a 104° fever and occasionally throwing up (AND I HATE THROWING UP). I was on antibiotics so often that I’m convinced I’m now antibiotic-resistant… so lovely. UCLA, urgent cares, specialists… you name it, I saw them all. They all told me the same thing: “It’s probably just a virus. Take this antibiotic, and we’ll check back in soon.” Spoiler alert: it was obviously NOT a virus.

God bless my sweet boyfriend, because he was basically my caretaker at the ripe age of 23 and listened to me cry every week about how I’d never live a normal life again and would bed-rot away (thankfully, I now live a normal life again, YAY!). One day, an amazing family friend recommended that I test for mold. Well, it turns out primary care providers don’t test for mold in the body… you know it’s not like it’s a medical issue or anything.

As a final resort, thinking nothing of it, I went to a holistic doctor and tested for mold. Turns out there was literal mold in the walls of the place I was living… and I had no idea. The crazy thing is, the house looked spotless.

Aside from all the medical lessons I could give like, “always listen to your body” and “see a holistic doctor when all else fails,” this experience taught me two important life lessons that might have made it all worth it.

Number one: gratitude. Each day I wasted in bed, unable to work, go to the gym, or do the things I loved, I thought about my old life and how much I took for granted. Something as simple as going to Pilates and making my breakfast once felt like a distant dream. Now, I feel better than I ever have. I’m more committed to my faith than ever before, and the amount of gratitude I have for my life, even though it’s not completely perfect, is beyond compare.

Number two: take risks and don’t wait to start living! Anything can change your life in an instant, so you might as well do the things you’ve been putting off before it’s too late. I think God has this funny way of using suffering as a method to redirect our lives. Sometimes it’s not just about getting sick, it’s about being forced to stop and think about the way we’re living and viewing our circumstances. You have one life, so go live it!! 

From my heart,

Hanna