I Started Something Before I Felt Ready
- May 11
- 3 min read
My favorite quote growing up was always "take the risk, enjoy the fall, if it's meant to be, it's worth it all." I used to say it all the time, I had it on my lockscreen until high school and I always thought it to myself whenever I went to do something that felt scary. I really believed in this quote for a long part of my life and it got me through all the risks I was scared to take growing up, moving to NY by myself at 19 and leaving behind everything I knew, modeling auditions, teaching yoga to strangers for the first time, and most importantly leaving my number for Steven (the now love of my life). Recently, I realized I hadn't said that quote to myself in a long time. That's when I came to the realization…I stopped taking risks.
My awful trait is that I have always been the kind of person who waits until everything feels perfect before doing something…which means I am constantly putting off my dreams because nothing ever feels "perfect" in my eyes. Either the timing never feels quite right, or I don't feel ready enough, or I think my idea isn't "what I want it to be yet", there has always been a "good" reason I thought of to wait. And recently I came to the realization that it was never about perfection, but always truly about the fear of failing. The idea of not doing well enough, of putting something out there that was less than in someone else's eyes, and as I am sure everyone reading this can relate to the fear of being judged. And that fear has been the single thing that kept me from taking the risks I've always dreamed of.
If you read the announcement on my instagram for my wellness series, you know I've been working on it for about a year now, and let me be the first to say that creating it felt easy…the scary part was actually planning to post it. I kept finding reasons it wasn't the right time. But last month, I decided this was the place to practice "taking the risk and enjoying the potential fall." Deep down, I knew regardless of what happened, there was a slight chance it could help even one person... and that's one more person than before.
And if we're all being really honest, everyone is scared…and usually unqualified for most things they touch. Yet the people who actually do well in life seem to be the ones who start things before they have the qualifications or feel ready. They just put something out there and eventually, after trying…and trying again, they find their footing. They grow into the thing they started before they were ready for it.
I'm not here to preach to you about faking it till you make it. I'm here to be honest and say there are days when I don't feel like my work is good enough to be out there (literally me two months ago) and days when I look back at something and realize it wasn't as polished as I thought it was when I made it. The only difference is now I decide to still show up, still create and still put things out there, especially the ones I feel hesitant about.
The more mundane + stale the rest of the world seems to feel, the more I believe we have every power to take our lives and create something exciting out of them. So if you've been waiting to start something... there is never a better time than now to start. Because even if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped, at least you can look back and say you took the risk and created something meaningful and truly yours. And how many people can actually say that about their life?
At the end of the day everything sounds crazy until one day it's not. As I learned in the years I played it safe in college... comfort kills dreams, and necessity builds growth. You owe it to yourself to fail, over and over and even over again. And maybe…just maybe you'll look back and be so grateful you didn't wait.
From my heart,
Hanna
